I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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