I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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