I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
