How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
