one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
