i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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