Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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