don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
