i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
