I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize