Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
