So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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