who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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