I should be sponsored by Trojan
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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