it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
