Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
