This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
