What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Actions speak louder than pants.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
