We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
nutella sex= disaster
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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