my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm at about main and main street
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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