We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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