then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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