Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
