so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it wasn't lemon gatorade
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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