he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
