He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
is it fun? or sober?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
