i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I need moral support for this bender
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
