This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
