Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
