We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
