hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
