I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize