lets start a swedish sibling band together
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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