haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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