yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
