Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
