honey bunches of taint.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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