They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
