just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
