You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
