So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
