There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
