I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
