the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
