Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize