you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
