i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
