i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
