5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
