he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
