Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I CAN MOONWALK!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
