I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
