Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
