so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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