if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize