Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
