dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
