I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
