I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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