you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
