Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
