dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
