I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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