whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
