i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
