Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
