My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
